The Boat Name Game

The Boat Name Game

A BRUTALLY HUMOROUS LOOK AT WHAT YOUR BOAT NAME SAYS ABOUT YOU

Boat Names U-Z

 

 

Ultimate Pair-O-Docs

You can’t be trusted to save lives.

 

Webster’s defines a paradox as a statement contrary to popular belief.

 

That must mean you two are the kinds of surgeons who “accidentally” leave scissors sewn inside people’s stomachs.

                         

 

 

Ulysses

You’re cool, but nobody’s sure why.

 

We’re not sure what you named your boat after.

 

It could be the Latin name for Odysseus, the main hero in Homer’s Odyssey.

 

It could be the world’s largest vehicle ferry, between Ireland and Wales.

 

             It could be the 1995 film starting Kirk Douglas.

 

Or it could be an unknown indie rock band that hangs out in Kentucky.

 

             No matter. We like ’em all.                      

 

 

 

Valkyrie

You think you’re a better sailor than you really are.

 

You named your boat after the famous America’s Cup racing yachts.

 

What. You can raise a sail, so now you think you’re Russell Coutts?

                         

 

 

We IV

You’re either a group of four, our you’re out on your boat

all day jacking into intravenous fluids.

 

You should raft up with Aquaholics.

They probably could use your help.

 

 

 

Wet Dream

You’re a pig.

 

And you know it.

 

So do all the young boys out boating with their fathers who see this name on your transom in the inlet.

                         

 

 

Whopper Stopper

Either you eat a lot of Burger King meals, or you’re a hell of a fisherman.

            

The smell onboard is probably pretty bad either way.

                         

 

 

Wild Goose

You have plans for the afterlife.

 

You named your boat after the one owned by John Wayne. He died in 1979, but rumor has it he still wanders around onboard, haunting  anybody who even thinks about sleeping in his master cabin.

 

Maybe he’s still getting over the fact that his real name was Marion.                          

 

Wolf

You just might be dangerous.

 

You named your boat after a German armed merchant raider that spent much of World War I laying mines in places where Allied traders were expected to sail. Wolf eventually sank a total of 12 ships.

 

If you’re thinking about following in her footsteps, we’d like to introduce you to our friend, Mr. Marine Patrol Officer.

 

                         

 

World is Not Enough

You’re still trying to get over all those years as the pimply faced geek who had trouble getting girls.

 

You named your boat after a 140-footer packed with just over 20,000 horsepower worth of speed that make it the planet’s fastest fully outfitted luxury yacht.

 

             Yeah. That kind of gear head stuff really turns the Bond babes on.

 

 

 

Zoloft

You’re our kind of nutbag.

 

Buying your boat wasn’t cheap, but in the long run, you’ll probably save a few bucks compared with shelling out to the pharmaceutical company for a monthly prescription.

 

             You’re chemically imbalanced, but good with money.

 

             Sounds like a recipe for an even bigger boat in the future.

                         

 

 

Zoom Zoom Zoom

You care greatly for others.

 

You named your boat after the 161-foot motoryacht that a few shipyard workers used for shelter in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. In fact, that boat even had some barbecued ribs stowed in its galley for them to eat during the height of the 2005 storm.

 

             Sure beats a FEMA trailer.

                         

 

 

Zumian

You’re carbon neutral.

 

You named your boat after a World War I British destroyer ship that was built from the bow of the Zulu and the stern of the Nubian, both of which had been blown apart by mines and torpedoes.

 

Way to recycle before it was trendy.