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The Boat Name Game |
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The Boat Name Game |
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A BRUTALLY HUMOROUS LOOK AT WHAT YOUR BOAT NAME SAYS ABOUT YOU |
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Boat Names C-E
Calypso You have an interesting taste in heroes.
You may have named your boat after the converted minesweeper that Jacques Cousteau used to travel the world’s waters beginning in 1950.
Or maybe you named it after singer John Denver’s homage to Cousteau, also called Calypso. It ranked No.1 on Billboard in 1975.
Either way, we like your style.
Captain Cranky Pants Our guess is that your wife’s boat is called Not Tonight, I Have a Headache.
Captain Crunch You’re the guy at the public boat launching ramp who backs your trailer into other people’s boats and cars.
But your apologies always include free, ice-cold beer.
Cattywaumpus You named your boat for a long-winded, Southern U.S. slang word that means “awry” or “askew.”
What the heck do you call your engine when it dies? A horsie-no-more-thumpus?
Cimasgro We can’t think of anything funnier than the true story this reader submitted:
A new member joined our yacht club and arrived with a 44-foot Mainship called Cimsagro. Everyone wondered if it was Native American influenced
Nope! This guy had belonged to some swanky yacht club and they had a ban on boat names that were considered tacky or had a double meaning or were flat-out dirty. He got around this by spelling Orgasmic backwards.
He said they never figured it out.
Cocktails You like to drink in style.
You named your boat after a beautiful 97-foot motoryacht commissioned by the Florida builder who created private mansions for the likes of TV goddess Oprah Winfrey, movie star Sylvester Stallone and Miami Dolphins great Dan Marino.
The hand-woven seamless wool carpeting that graces its interior is beige, and since it cost $63,000, nobody’s allowed to drink red wine inside.
Interesting rule given the yacht’s name. We wonder if you feel the same way about your $63 burlap floor covering.
Controlled Burn Let us guess: You’re a go-fast boat.
Well, we like you better than the Heat-Seeking Moisture Missile...
Cop-Out We asked the reader who submitted this name if he was retired from the police force. He replied, “No, just out relaxing just now.”
We’re not cracking wise on this one, officer!
Dancing Millie You’re definitely someone we’d like to see in action.
And please bring your sister Gertrude, too.
Delphine You may be cursed, but you’ll eventually find good fortune.
You named your boat after a grand 257-foot steam yacht built in Michigan in 1921 for automobile magnate Horace Dodge, who named his Delphine for his daughter and proudly proclaimed it the largest yacht ever built in the United States.
That yacht caught fire and sank in New York in 1926—to be salvaged later by Horace’s wife, Anna. Fourteen years later, it steamed into a rock in the Great Lakes.
The U.S. Navy put some better captains in charge of Delphine during World War II, when she was known as Dauntless PG61 until the government made Anna pay a pretty penny to buy her family’s yacht back.
Finally, in 2003, the boat underwent a restoration that left its woodwork gleaming and its decks as fresh as the days when Horace stood on them to watch sailboat races. It now offers charters from the tony port of Monaco at a rate of about $450,000 a week.
Hey, Horace was an entrepreneur. He’d be proud that you followed in his footsteps.
Dirty Money Hey, that’s better than a dirty boat...
Donna Cay This reader submission says it all:
My wife's name is Donna Kay DePinto. A smooth attempt to establish a personal connection between her and the boat by way of a nautical metaphor.
After five years, I'm still wondering if it has had any impact. It's a 35-foot Regal Cruiser, which I enjoy much more than she.
Oh well, one must try, you know!
Dprmouse A reader sent in this name, which is a term for a small rodent.
We smell a rat.
Doodle-B-Dinkle You’re about as mature as a toddler.
Seriously, did you let Bert and Ernie name your boat?
Ecstasea You may someday have it all.
You named your boat after a 282-foot motoryacht that is one of several owned by Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich. It’s not even his biggest. He also owns the 370-foot Le Grand Bleu and the 377-foot Pelorus.
We suppose the name Ecstasea fits in his case, as he was worth $20 billion before his 40th birthday.
We’re guessing you’re shy of that mark. But we like your chutzpah.
Empty Pockets We like your honesty.
Our guess is that you bought your boat from the guy who owns Prime Rate.
Endless Summer Please, sign us up!
Endurance You’re not as mighty as you think.
You fancy yourself as being on par with the great early-1900s British explorer Capt. Ernest Shackleton, who attempted to cross Antarctica in his sail-powered 144-foot Endurance only to be swallowed by ice after a fifteen-month test of human strength and willpower.
But you have a 33-footer with diesel engines and a bow thruster, and you hang out in the Florida Keys.
Escape to Reality A reader submitted this name, telling us he bought his boat after retiring from teaching.
What? Twenty-five years of kids wasn’t “real” enough for you? You think boaters are going to be more mature?
You’re in for a real schooling.
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